The mother of all marketing jobs

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My physiotherapist and I were bemoaning the lack of information and help for moms and their pelvic floor. We started to brainstorm how to make talking about the pelvic floor friendly, safe, even hip (god forbid). We threw out ideas: What about Ho Ho Home Parties? Madonna as spokes person (makes sense, she’s not shy about anything, I’m pretty sure we’ve even seen her pelvic floor in her book Sex) or….and as we chatted a horrible feeling started growing in my stomach, it careened up my spine and basically punched my brain. As if to say, “You idiot, where have you been? I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to it figure out? “WELL APPARENTLY IT HAS!” I air punched back.

And there it was: the huge, overwhelming, nauseating realization that this wasn’t about a stupid website, a few Kegel Parties (more on that later) or some press coverage (would LOVE that). No this was WAY bigger, this was the mother of all marketing jobs, this was the re-branding of the THE MOST stigmatized part of the human body. I wanted to throw up but I just couldn’t bring myself to mess up another mom’s house. As a marketer I was completely overwhelmed. This was an impossible task; undo centuries of negative attitude, take on religion, eradicate age-old traditions, eliminate arcane practices? I could just picture the work-back schedule: meet marketing team in consciously understated funky office, brainstorm, research, approve crazy smart new positioning strategy, brief way-too-cool creative team, execute ads, press releases, social marketing, brochures, conferences, events…. oh, did I mention there’s no budget! Rebranding the AIG executives into tax-loving, share-my-bonus philanthropists would be a WAY easier job!

Suddenly pink flashed in my head. Oh god, was I going to pass out now? No, it was the pink from a breast cancer ribbon. I breathed. It’s going to be OK – if we can talk about breast cancer now we will eventually be able to talk about moms’ pelvic floors in a normal, not whisper-behind-our-hands way. It’s just going to take time.

I looked up to find my physiotherapist friend staring at me. Oh god, I thought, did I throw up and I not realize it? NO, she was reacting to the last brainstorm idea: The Happy Hammock! It could work, I said, “the hammock represents the pelvic floor muscles…we could give away hammocks at a trade show…we could get t-shirts….know any hammock companies…..”!

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