So after I got diagnosed with my pelvic floor injuries from childbirth, I expected sympathy cards, flowers, or at least a casserole – store bought would have been fine. But nothing showed up. It made me sad.
Then my husband reminded me that I actually had to TELL people what was wrong with me. Why standing, walking, lifting were difficult. Why I had to give up running. And why I had to quit work – oh, ya the pain.
TELL people? You mean be open and honest? Are you kidding me? It would totally freak people out if I started talking about ‘down there’. I mean, look how long it took us to even say the words ‘breast cancer’. Try mentioning prolapse at the neighbor’s BBQ or incontinence at the family reunion. Watch the embarrass-o-meter explode and everyone flee the room. What? Did I say a bad word? Is my fly down? Boogers in my nose? Well, I did have a lot of garlic at lunch…
No I decided, I would NOT tell people what was really wrong with me. Instead I would just ooze sorrow and sadness, and thereby telepathically communicate my woes. That’s how casseroles would arrive at my front door with pretty floral sympathy cards and neatly typed heating instructions. That was the plan anyway.
My casserole never came. I was too chicken to spill the real beans – the hard core facts. If I’d been really brave, I could have said, “Well my life, like my pelvic floor has been a bit re-arranged thanks to popping out babies. Standing, sitting, lifting, walking are now a bit of a challenge. Just maneuvering through a day can be exhausting and painful!” But I didn’t say a word. Not one word.
Yeah, a casserole would have been nice. But feeling comfortable talking about my injuries would have beaten any extra cheesy tetrazzini.
Tags: breast cancer, casseroles, pelvic floor injuries, sympathy
This is 100% about me.. I am crying every day. I am the same.. Used to run every day and went to dances twice a week. My husband tells me to be happy that we have a great son. I am happy about my son but there is no real me any more – cannot be cheafully run and jump any more. I am with pain there every day. Because the docs decided that birth tears will get together themselves after they opened 4 days after the delivery. I am from another side of the Globe, in another country, but all is the same.