There’s nothing like launching two businesses in the middle of a recession to bring on the grey hairs and the black bags under the eyes.  If turning 40 nudged me along the aging scale from “frazzled” to “haggard”, then this full throttle recession stress has catapulted me past “frail” to “Depends-clad cadaver”.

To help slow down the aging effects of recession stress, the hubby thoughtfully suggested (DICTATED) that we cull down (STRIP TO THE BARE NECESSITIES) the food shopping list in order to save money.  After a supportive (NOT) conversation, we mutually agreed (TOTALLY ONESIDED) to take just a few items off our weekly shopping list (LIKE CHOP IT IN HALF).  While I calmly (CRAZILY) explained there were two children to feed, I was kindly (NOT SO KINDLY) informed that toast was good for all three meals. (HUH?) While I wondered how ALL my fellow moms from the past SEVEN years had somehow missed sharing this sage nutritional fact with me, my husband (GHENGIS KAN ) and I cheerfully (TEARFULLY) and in the full spirit of team (KEENING CAME TO MIND) took a few (NEARLY ALL) items off our regular shopping list. (PLEASE NOT THE $6.00 BOX OF ORGANIC GRANOLA!  BUT IT’S GOT THE SPECIAL SEEDS.  I REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED IT!).

At some point I came to.  I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened. But I realized this:  the old paradigm of finding comfort/coziness/safety in food was gone. Food was now about – survival.  The new reality started to settled in – no more organic cheese filled hamburgers from Whole Foods, no more fancy sauces to be used ONCE and no more impulsive purchases of sale items to be used in some recipe, some day, some decade, some century….   (BUT I’LL REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED IT SOMEDAY!)

 BUTTER.  Of all things, can you believe it, butter was THE biggest issue.  The thoughtful husband (NOW OFFICIALLY CUT OFF FROM ANY REMOTE CHANCE OF SEX THIS DECADE) suggested (NOT KINDLY) that I not get STICKS of butter as they are $1.00 more expensive than regular blocks of butter.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  That’s like suggesting you play hockey without a cup.  That’s like saying, forget the Ferrari, a Toyota will work just fine!!!  I really really really need STICKS of butter.  Martha Stewart, in all her recipes, says to use STICKS – not big fat blocks of butter.  How am I supposed to make scones (OK I ONLY MADE THEM ONCE) and croissants (OK THEY SUCKED) with big fat blocks of butter?  How am I supposed to measure EXACTLY how much butter I’m putting in without the handy measuring grid on the wrapper of each stick?  Just how am I supposed to figure out ¼ of a cup of butter from a big fat block of butter?   Martha says STICKS, so I really really, really need STICKS.  (COMPLETELY IGNORED BY THE MACHIVELLIAN FREAK SHOW I SOMEHOW MARRIED)

So that’s how big fat blocks of butter entered our house.  At first, I viewed these metallic wrapped bricks wearily.  I worried how I’d cope when I next forayed into Martha Steward’s “Baking Handbook” without my beloved STICKS.   I was nervous when I tackled some Fudgy Chocolate Brownies. (WHERE’S THE CONVENIENT MEASURING GUIDE?)  But somehow the brownies turned out OK.  So did the White Chocolate Chunk Cookies.   Although I knew Martha was shaking her head in disgust (HEY LADY, YOU WENT TO JAIL, NOT ME!), I started to get a bit comfy with big fat blocks of butter.  In time, I realized that I didn’t really, really, really need STICKS of butter. I also didn’t really, really, really need fancy sauces or special smelly cheeses.  In the end, going back to basics was kind of, well…. liberating!  (DON’T EVER TELL THE HUSBAND I SAID THAT).   

Now, I no longer have a refrigerator door SO brimming with bottles of one-use sauces that the refrigerator used to keel over whenever I open the door.  Now I have JUST what we need.  And strangely – I feel calm.  So, in the end all that stuff that I thought I really really really needed, I don’t really really really need.  It’s OK to just savour the essentials, enjoy the basics, to go simple.  It wasn’t all that extra stuff that I thought I HAD to have that protected me from the scary world.  I realize now it’s my family that helps buttress me against the ills of the world.  And when I hang out now with my family, I feel really, really, really grateful for what I’ve got.  Although, I’m not sure if the food-budget-crazed-dictator husband has fully retired, he’s at least been down graded to benevolent oligarch…and he JUST might get lucky this year….we’ll see.